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Not Real But True

by twin deer

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1.
the art of how to stop a racing heart 
it seems impossible beyond my dreams
 cut short no explanation, no report
 who’s next? could it be me? it would be for the best 
not sane i’m riding this electric brain
 and next i’m full of bricks and i’m a wreck
 not right i shoot up in dead of night i’ve been walking in a fog all night did it take you down without a fight?
 is it better if i don’t know? i’ve been walking in a fog all night 
the street was flooded with flashing lights
 people started calling your phone 
the fact you don’t know that you’re dead 
is forever fucking with my head
 it feels like you’re not home
2.
Haze 03:02
the light touched the street today the same way it did that morning cold, clear, the world at rest turning, but you’d lost your breath i stepped outside to take it in it’s colder now than it was then there was a haze, it had a softness that you must have left behind i know you want to stay with me your eyes aren’t quite closing warm color disappears should have had a few more years
3.
the words were so unreal i kept thinking it has to be a dream cars surround the house people coming in and out in their uniforms in the middle of the night i was in the living room sitting on the coffee table, shaking they took you away though you were already gone we said goodbye to you or what was left and i flew home screaming in my car can’t remember what i said they took my heart away that night i stayed up till the morning light
4.
Inebriated 03:15
thursday, always at the bar we hated drinking rum and coke, inebriated spilling dirt, i had to swear i won’t tell to the grave with you and with me to hell it’s not real, but true the sun set on you you had me going, no way of knowing which night would be the last time was slowing, your face was glowing it all happened so fast it’s not real, but true the sun set on you
5.
The Cemetery 03:15


i don’t like the cemetery one might think that’s odd for me to say after all, i fancy myself as your biggest fan that’s the place it culminated in a glass-walled chapel in the sun so many people, they couldn’t fit and i went numb 

that’s where the music stopped and things got brutally honest as we put you in a hole covered in dirt it started to get hot
 i didn’t want to be there anymore because you weren’t

 i don’t like the cemetery honestly, it’s hard for me to say and it feels like wasted breath when they don’t understand 

i would rather go see mary bleach my hair, go to a shitty bar
 bring everyone outside and look up at the stars 
that week your heart had stopped and so i drove in procession backed by 40 other cars behind the hearse it started to get hot
 i felt it as my heels started to sink into the earth 
i didn’t want to be there anymore it isn’t so peaceful it isn’t all that restful
6.
Empty Room 02:18
singing in an empty room listening until your heart stops beating thought you would be with me too listening until your heart stops you were supposed to be here too you were supposed to make it you were supposed to be here too and i don’t know if i’m gonna make it with a tiny radio playing tunes, propped up in the window incomplete, and i don’t know what to do i’m watching paint dry you were supposed to be here too you were supposed to make it you were supposed to be here too and i don’t know if i’m gonna make it and i don’t know if i can take it and i don’t know if i’m gonna make it
7.
times keeps on on moving
 world keeps on spinning 
we keep existing 
so you’ll keep living on the inside were you dying
 you looked so happy hours ago 
this has no ending 
this is our life now 
 some will get through it
 although i don’t see how
8.
Pleasantries 02:03
people hear it and they ask me how i am if i answer honestly it won’t match their pleasantries i could tell them how the earth fell down on me and how i still think that it must be some kind of dream people visit and they ask me, how’s your dad? tend to answer truthfully describe it heartbreakingly i could tell them how it was so shattering and how i am still convinced it must be some kind of dream i had to head home don’t want to be alone don’t want to be anywhere you are absent everywhere
9.
Into a Hole 03:05
i put my heart into a hole when there were no other options i held your hand but it was cold the hours went by i threw myself over the metal box my head was empty next to the spray on top a million flowers became a cloud of dust can’t even show her nobody’s waking up i put my heart into a hole when there were no other options i held your hand but it was cold the hours went by someone spoke to you but you couldn’t hear we drank the whiskey that had been saved for years people circled around you one by one i was the closest to you in the sun
10.

credits

released May 14, 2022

Meggan Marcoux: vocals, guitar, flute, synth
Tom Skill: guitar
Dan Harness: guitar
Bill Kahler: bass, synth
Sung-jin (Joseph) Jankowski: drums

Recorded, mixed, and mastered by Tom Skill at Cow Haus Recording

Album art by Crystal Lake

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twin deer Detroit, Michigan

Detroit-based indie pop outfit Twin Deer is described as powerful poetry with super catchy music. (Prism Reviews). A sound made up of hazy guitars and dreamy vocals. “Light and fog intermix on these songs.”

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